I thought about what you said to me the other night, “I think you have given out enough advice lately.” I had no response because I knew he was right. I sat quietly and finished dinner as if the comment didn’t phase me, but secretly I was crying inside.
I told myself, “You screwed up again.” “I thought you were going to stop telling him what to do and giving him so much advice.”
Even a guy friend of mine told me a loooooong time ago, “the way you win him over is to just make him think everything is his idea like he gave it to you already.” I have to say this actually works to some extent.
But, I hate this feeling inside and wanted to figure out more, plus I couldn’t decide what I wanted to write about. So, I started doing some self-help research about men versus women in an effort to understand where he was coming from.
How Men VS women “FEEL” motivated
As a woman, I am motivated when I feel cherished. While feeling needed is what ignites motivation in a man. Although women feel motivated when they feel loved, but they don’t always understand how men speak “love” to them (their love language).
I think the world has taught men NOT to “give” love (like how women envision love) as if it is some sign of weakness, so that is something society and men have ingrained in them.
The 5 second FIX
Obviously, I need to overcome the temptation to give advice and start learning to be a better listener. And, he needs to overcome the resistance to give love.
But, there is one problem — I can’t change him only my reaction to him.
The best solution is to learn how to receive love from others especially the opposite sex. I do this by learning about my self. Learn to understand the opposite sex and you will cut down on many of the petty arguments you have.
If you want to fix your relationship start by fixing yourself first — look in the mirror.